I’m pretty new to sex work. I still find it difficult to ask for what was agreed. I’m currently on a trip away from home with a client I’ve known for 3 months and met with twice. I’m starting to get the impression he’s not wanting to pay for what was agreed. He’s on a business trip and leaves me in the hotel room most of the day with no money for food or getting around so I’m basically stuck in here. He has also been avoiding talk of the amount discussed for me coming out here for almost two weeks… Does anyone have any tips on how to bring it up nicely? I don’t want him blowing up in my face and being stranded in a state I know nothing about.

UPDATE: He got back and I got half today. Getting the other half on Monday. But it did take a long ass conversation and him jumping through hoops trying to manipulate and saying he thought I was “different”. Also got a separate room because I needed to cool down. Still contemplating leaving this weekend and counting my losses

Comments

• You just got to rip the band aid off and say hey I need the money upfront so for this to continue as I can’t stay here with the uncertainty. If you want me here 24/7 you will need to pay extra for my food and to keep myself busy while you’re away as I cannot stay cooped in a room all the time. He either straightens up and pay or you’ll see that he’s a timewaster just trying to get as much unpaid as possible.
  • He is trying to manipulate you because of your inexperience. “I thought you were different”? No. You’re a provider. He’s a client. A conversation does not need to be lengthy nor delicate simply state your requirements and establish boundaries as far as time given and service to be offered. Next time this along with a deposit should be established before your trip. Rule number one – get the money first. Count it and secure it. No money. No honey. If I were you I’d be looking for the second half at least two days before the anticipated closure and searching out alternative return flights as you may need one.

• I say this lovingly; you need to work on asserting yourself. There are shitty people who will target new sex worker because they’re not sure how to stand up for themselves. Start working on an escape plan if he won’t pay you.

• You didn’t get paid first? Your being scammed…if you can afford it just leave he’s not paying you if he hasn’t already ALWAYS get paid first

• How much have you been paid so far? A lot of escorts don’t do long trips or bookings without a significant portion paid up front, if not the whole thing. How to respond depends on your answer to my first question though. If you haven’t been paid anything yet, then that is a worse situation for sure.

• You don’t do anything until you are paid and then you do what you agreed to do! We always get paid first! We all run our own shows but unless you work for an agency or a brothel you get paid first! Looks like you are stuck until you get home! Play sick and refuse to put out any further! Get a text saying you must get home to a dying relative tell him to fly you back ASAP.

I am also a sugar baby and to me this sounds way more like a sugar arrangement. if you are paid to be waiting at the hotel for when he gets back he needs to give you EXTRA money for food. just order room service though and have it charged to the card the room is under. He needs to give you your money first though. ask for immediately when he is back. If this is leaning more towards sugar arrangement and he isn’t taking you out he also needs to give you extra money for activities. if it is not then bottom line is he needs to give you the money now and extra for takeout/ understand you will be charging room service to his card.

Hey guys, reaching out because my boyfriend and I got in another argument about my work/money. I’m honest with him about my money, and what I do. But he always brings up “you just get a free ride through your 20’s, your life is so much easier than others” I agree with him and say yes I’m privileged to be able to do what I’m doing. But he consistently brings it up like he has a problem with it. Which he says he doesn’t? He will sometimes ask me for money, and insists that I pay more for our rent because I make so much more then him. I have agreed to do so. Feeling rather strange about doing it. I love and care about him so I do it. But I feel slightly taken advantage of. More or less just disrespected that he always tells me my job is so easy. And that I get a free ride. I still earn what I have. I suppose you could just call me lucky. In the past when I’ve told him I made X amount of dollars this month he gets upset. So I don’t always share this information with him now. We consistently argue about this and I’m at a cross road right now. I’ve been thinking about talking to a therapist. I don’t know where else to go so I’m asking for some advice please.

Comments

• Free ride? SW might be fast and abundant money but it damn sure isn’t easy or a free ride!!! This shit is mentally, emotionally and physically draining! I hate it when people assume we don’t “work” just because we don’t clock in for a 9-5. I’m so sorry you are going thru this!
  • My day job is very “easy.” I sit inside, in the air conditioning, there’s no heavy lifting, I can take a nap if I want to (usually) and I don’t even have to get dressed some days. Mostly I just sit and think. But if I fuck up, somebody could go to jail. Somebody might even die. I won’t compare that to the social stigma and actual, physical dangers SW face, but I will say that anybody who can’t see that not all “hard” jobs involve a lot of labor or whatever doesn’t understand how jobs actually

• That’s the big fucking joke! Everyone thinks this job is so damn easy! If you are just a run of the mill escort it’s not easy at all and even the high end ladies have their bad days as well. It’s not easy and it is work! If it was so fucking easy why isn’t everyone doing it? Don’t say because it’s illegal because that’s bullshit. Plenty places where it’s legal and still not everyone can or will do it.
• Your partner is the one that needs to work out some shit with a therapist. Something’s bothering him, and he’s venting like a child. Your partner should be happy for you when you do well. And if it’s so easy, maybe he should get his ass out there and earn.

• I won’t pretend to know what it’s like for a sex worker relationship, but *in general, * if a man is threatened by what his SO does in that they make a lot more money than he does and don’t seem to work as hard… there’s no coming back from that. That’s a foundational attitude about how relationships should go. Either it bugs you or it doesn’t. If it does, it does, and it always will. Add in the “she makes more money than I do andshe earns it having sex with other guys,” well, like I said, I won’t pretend to know what that’s like but I can’t see it making things better.

• Sex work isn’t easy! No no no! Why is he asking you for money? My bf is in the military. He doesn’t get much but he has never asked me for money? You are using this as an excuse!!! Please there are so many fish in the sea!!!!!
• Dump him. If he actually loved you, he would be putting every effort into understanding your work and all the ways it can actually be difficult AND dangerous. He certainly wouldn’t be making you feel used for money and forcing you to see more clients just to support him. You deserve a partner that makes your life EASIER, not harder.

It seems he’s belittling her for how she earns her money. It’s not like she sits around all day and the money comes willingly! Sex work is soooo much work! Anyone with some level of empathy can understand the toll and the emotional damage that sex work actually brings.

• I mean earlier in my relationship when I paid bills we split the bills based on income. I was making more and suggested I pay a larger portion, now he makes way more and has suggested I simply save what would be my portion of rent based on income for the down payment for our house next year. With that being said, I have an issue with every other part of it. He shouldn’t be talking down on you for “having a free ride” being a sex worker is HARDLY a free ride. The emotional and physical trauma we endure, the inherent danger every moment of working. You need a partner who understands that. Regardless of how much money I bring in my partner is so fucking supportive. He doesn’t look at it as an easy ride, he looks at what I can do as incredibly impressive, and something he admires about me. He looks at it as someone whose spent 9 years curating a very successful image, approach, and ability to build lasting rapport with people of all walks. He admires my wit and intellect which rarely get showcased outside of my work, that is what a supportive partner should be for a sex worker. Sounds like he fundamentally has issues with sex work

Sounds like he’s using you while simultaneously putting you down and minimizing the actual work that goes into being a SW. I bet he couldn’t handle it if he tried! Are you sure this doesn’t stem from some hidden jealousy surrounding you sleeping with other men? Not all men are ok with dating a SW even if they initially say they are.

So I was contacted by this idiot for an outcall everything was going fine until he says ” You know what would be hot? If you show up in a garter and thigh-highs and NOTHING ELSE.” He also says his area is “pretty dark” so the walk from my car to his door would be totally sexy! 🙍‍♀️🙍‍♀️🙍‍♀️ To which I reply not only would that be extremely stupid of me it could be potentially dangerous FOR BOTH OF US! (I have done adventurous things with REGULARS after some trust has been built up but I cannot imagine doing this with a regular let alone a newbie MY REGULARSWOULDNT EVEN ASK ME! What’s I would have done is wear a large coat over what he requested if I knew him) and he replies “I thought you had a little more daring side to you. I’m sure we can Have fun anyway. ” At this point I have moved passed annoyed to pissed I inform him that if watching me walk from my car to his door then I feel bad because he has no idea What fun with me really is and now he will never know because his juvenile attempt to make me want to prove myself to him has succeeded only in freeing up my evening. I also informed him that I am not desperate enough for money that I will potentially humiliate myself at the least and at worst put myself in harm’s way worse than the situation is normally!! ALSO ITS FUCKING COLD! I asked his age because I thought he might be young NO 49!! What is wrong with these Supposed GROWN MEN???? END OF RANT.

Comments

• I had a guy who wanted me to undress in his vestibule so I would be naked when he opened the door. A lot of escorts get this prank and show up at someone’s home who didn’t call them. I know? Who could be so stupid? But there are a lot of desperate people and a lot of nasty people who want to exploit the desperate.
  • It’s so disgusting I really just have to tell myself karma is in fact a bitch because those scumbags deserve exactly what they put us through ×10
    • I agree. I’d say May their dicks fall off but the last time I said something similar I was reported to Reddit for wishing violence upon someone! Of course, it’s ok for sex workers to be treated terrible that is the way of the world.

• I had someone ask me once to show up topless to their door. Not a chance idiot
  • I cannot even imagine! I hate when they tell me to just walk in like could you make it any creepier plus I was taught to Always knock!

It might seem like a petty revenge, but I’m so glad I did. So this mf messages me saying he is at a higher end hotel and wants to book an hour. Says let’s meet at the lobby then we will go to the room. (first 🚩) I say why not; in hour I will go to another outcall around that area so it was convenient for me. I arrive to the lobby and he is sitting there with a friend of him. (🚩) I say wtf if it’s two of you the price 3x. He assures me that’s only him who wants to book, without his friend. He is wasting time by continuously talking, ordering me a coffee I didn’t ask for and just chatting idly for 20 minutes about how much money he makes, how many businesses he owns, then he says “the time is staring once we arrive to the room, right?” (🚩) Since I wasted 20 minutes on them already, I say I’m not going to walk out without money, so I quickly finish the drink and we go to his room. When he gives me the money, I say it’s not the correct amount. My hourly rate is x EUR. (I tricked him with like 50 euro, not much just to match his vibe) He hesitates but gives me more. I finish him in 30 minutes and I walk the fuck out of the door. Before I leave I tell him “Actually honey, I don’t hang out with people for free, so we indeed spent an hour as agreed” I felt so proud of myself 😇👌👌👌

Comments

• Yay! So happy for you! I hate those that are like “time starts when we get to the room/we’re naked/I start touching you/we start fucking/after I’m hard” assholes. Like what don’t you get about you’re paying for my time? I think most of them think that when we say you’re paying for our time it’s like in a wink wink just trying to avoid trouble kind of way. No motherfucker, that’s a bonus. But you’re for real as fuck paying for my time.

Right 👌💯 Those tricks aren’t just cheap; it screams that they aren’t coming from money. likely broke ass assistants at most. People with class aren’t trying to haggle time, use up all their time etc. because they didn’t have to starve their entire family for a week to afford us 😂😂😂

• Get it girl! Tbh that was the best situation for everyone. Normally you wouldn’t take him based on his chat behavior, but you did because you were already in the area. He got off, you got paid, and you saved him from wasting someone else’s time who didn’t know better due to being new or whatever.

• God, I hate those cheap assholes. Like, no, “John,” the timer DID NOT start AFTER your 10-minute shower AND the 20 minutes you spent chatting with me. It started the second you walked through my door. So you have 30 minutes left. Don’t like it? You can always leave now, but you’re not getting so much as a DOLLAR back, fucker. Thank god most of the people I’ve ever seen have understood and respected that – which, ironically enough, likely earned them an extra few minutes!! I’m the type of provider who would rather go 5 or 10 minutes OVER than UNDER – obviously on a case-by-case basis, so long as I don’t feel like I’m being used. And any more than 10 minutes I 100% demand further payment or stop.
• But the SECOND I feel like I’m being fucked with, I’ll stop ON THE GODDAMN DOT AT BEST AND will likely end EARLY because I’m trying to make sure I don’t go over by a SECOND. So, TRYING to use me literally removes me TRYING to accommodate you! I try not to stoop to their level and take full advantage, just so I can SAY to anyone who knows what happened that I was honest and legitimate, but I 1000000% don’t blame anyone who does But these DUMB mother fuckers seriously don’t get that pulling this crap is WHY most providers won’t even TRY to be flexible in the first place! They’re JUST hurting themselves and what they want!!I’m sorry this happened honey, but I’m SOOOOOO pleased that you were able to catch him in his own fuckin game. I’m sending lots of money-luck and good-client-luck your way for the rest of the holidays!!!!!

• Thanks babe 😘 I wish you the same Yeah 💯 on point, like I don’t mind spending extra 10 15min chatting with some good, respectful clients who’s not trying to scam or lowball me or playing tricky tricks. They might be good regulars after all. But those Johns who’s are starting out acing all smart, and extorting us, I scam them all and I’m not even 1% ashamed of it. We call the shots, it’s our service, we make the rules not them.

I hate it when this happens.
I love sex and enjoy my work and I really go above and beyond to make the meeting as good as
possible for my clients, new and old. Normally I have at least some kind of chemistry with
everyone and it’s easy to build up the meeting from there. But with some people there’s just
zero chemistry, nothing, nada. Perfectly good people, but that spark is just so nonexistent that
it just turns awkward no matter what we do. I normally get these kinds of meetings few times a
year, but these last two weeks I’ve had three! It’s mortifying! The newest was a few hours ago,
new client, booked well in advance, one-hour booking. He was polite, clean, nice looking,
genuinely seemed like a good guy. I really wanted to make the meeting pleasurable for him, but
the total lack of chemistry just ruined the vibe and we ended up having awkward sex and even
more awkward small talk for 30 minutes and then I left. I sometimes actually feel like giving a
refund just because I can’t deliver a better experience but I know it’s totally not my fault. It’s
just really sad, especially when the person I meet with is new with escorts. It’s not like I can tell
anyone that hey yeah we didn’t click, but keep looking when things are already awkward…
and it doesn’t help that I’m the only provider in a huge area, next escort I know of is like
150km (93 miles) from my location, hahaha. So there’s not much variety for clients to find the
right provider for them. Idk, this was just some tired late night rant before going to sleep.
Luckily I also had this great meeting today with my favorite regular and we fucked each other’s
brains out like goddamn teenagers after he prepared me some food because I was hungry
haha.

Comments
 It’s our job to create chemistry when it wouldn’t otherwise me there, but I also don’t
expect it to happen every time, especially when two strangers are meeting for the first
time. Don’t feel bad.
o Thank you. ❤️ I’m not that new to the game and normally just let things slide,
but three of these kinds of meetings within a couple weeks really brings my
mood down a bit haha. Normally I’m really good at creating the atmosphere for
a great meeting for everyone but sometimes it just doesn’t work out no matter
how good you are or how hard you try. But well, it is what it is.

 Sometimes when we really do enjoy pleasing people and making sure they have a good
time, it’s an instinct to give them a deal or offer a refund, but sex with you is a luxury,
not a discount item. They’re lucky to be in the same room as you and if they’re not
pulling their weight to make it a good appointment do not take that personally!!

o Oh yeah and when the client is some insufferable, boundary pushing arsehole I
feel less than zero regret giving a mediocre performance with minimum effort,
taking his money and getting the fuck out of there.

 The first meeting is always a bit awkward. It’s normal. There is nothing humanly possible
about 2 people inorganically meeting (making plans to meet for sex) and it not be
awkward a little. And what adds to the awkwardness is the fact we are trying to please.
We don’t know a person’s unique needs, their buttons that only work for them, and so
we often ask so we can please them better. In my life, I’ve never asked a man the things
I have asked in a session. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, from climax
preferences and beyond. It’s okay to be awkward.
 Don’t worry about refunding, he paid for your time and got it, it happens sometimes and
that’s okay. I’m usually grateful when these people book me again anyways

 I’m in sales as my vanilla job. Part of my job is quickly building rapport with people. I
apply this same skill to SW. I find if I build rapport, faking the chemistry comes much
easier. You’re lucky you feel it as often as you do. Most of us rarely feel it at all.

 I find that’s only a minority .. only a few clients don’t really want chemistry or intimacy.
They just want to pound and let off steam and barely say a word. Don’t let it bother you,
everyone is different.

 I’ve never had chemistry with a client. Obviously I fake attraction to them and try to play
into their personality, but I act myself and if they don’t like that then oh well they’re still
getting what they paid for. If we don’t get along as well as some others, I still just throw
on a smile and give them what they want. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.
With people who you aren’t having easy conversation with, it can help to just focus on
the physical and fill the silence with light touching and ask them questions. Direct it all
back to them. But I’m sure you still gave great service and you shouldn’t worry so much
about not providing a realistic relationship experience for them. It’s normal for people
who don’t know each other to be uncomfortable and not everyone’s gonna hit it off.
Not every client even wants something intimate. Simple acting woos them.

Yes, you read that right. I started doing Sex Work a couple years ago and my mom told me she’s been
on OF for a few months and also started escorting. Now, she knows that I am fully invested in
this line of work and she’s supported met 100%. We’ve always had a very open relationship
when it came to things that some mother/daughters would never talk about etc. like me
growing up and just being on the pill at a young age and her knowing I was sexually active. She
was a single mom and had me kind of young. She did the best she could but I probably def am
where I am because of the life I grew up in which I have 0 regrets. She was scared I would get
upset but I told her I support her 100%. I don’t see her that much because we live a couple
hours away. She’s in her mid-50’s but still looks great and I think she’ll do really well. I’m happy
she’s able to make it to that part in her life. She has asked me about the saving $ part as I’ve
done well with that but that’s one wear she has struggled. Anybody been in a similar
situation!?! Anybody that age and do well and still do well for a while? Hoping she can get a
good savings as I don’t think she’s got a lot coming for SS.

Comments
 That’s awesome! I can relate 🙂 (your mama and mine are around the same age!) I wish
her tons of success and generous clientele! My mom does this no problem in a small
town so I for sure think your Mom can make it happen and succeed!

o My mom was a Sex Worker when I was younger. I remember us randomly getting new
furniture for the house, vacations, etc. From her “friends”. I didn’t connect the
dots until I was older lol.

 Your mom sounds like the cool mom in the neighborhood! haha. The home where I’d go
to hang and as a teen and feel more comfortable with everything and non-judgmental.

 Yea she was that mom. A lot of moms hated her because of me. I’d always be the one
out late, dressing inappropriately and always with older guys so they thought my mom
was bad for allowing everything I did. But I always had girlfriends over because they
loved how we could smoke and drink and be around guys without parents around. Even
though my mom wouldn’t care.

I normally don’t rant on particular clients but what happened today sadly has made me have to
kick this client to the curb. Never had a problem with this guy. He’s a doctor, lonely guy. Decent
looking. Into some weird fetishes but nothing crazy and never issues with what a lot of us
complain. I see him today because he has no family and pays me even more. We do our thing
and when we finish he starts going on how he’d love me to stop and just have him pay my bills.
Sugar daddy type deal. But what really freaks me out is he starts going on about how he’s
concerned about my sexual life anatomy. He knows when I started because he was one of my
first regulars (which was around 2 years ago now almost). He literally said something similar to
this smh “I’ve done the math and you’ve been doing this work for 2 years. You can’t continue to
abuse your vagina like this the way you do. I know you are busy seeing numerous clients weekly
so that’s just not healthy to have hundreds of different men in that time period. I’m willing to
financially give you X if you stop this work and just see me”. I kind of got freaked because this
came out of nowhere outside his weird fetishes. First off like who does this? Who does the
math on how many men I’ve probably been with? I mean yes my number is way up there and I think
anybody who does this long enough it’s up there. To me a number means nothing. Hell I was with
plenty before I even got into sex work. Just doesn’t faze me like some people. But this?! LOL weird!!
Sadly, though I’ll have to find a nice way to ignore him. Can’t deal with this BS.

Comments
 Some men actually seem to believe that vaginas get stretched out with more sexual
partners… That said, it definitely just seems like he was looking for a good excuse to
make you scared because he actually wants you to himself and (I assume) doesn’t
actually want to give you an amount that would be comparable to the amount you are
getting from all the clients you see now.

 Agree I’ve heard that before! Sad thing for him is while he’s never been a client with
issues he is pathetic in the dick department. I almost made the comment about number of
clients doesn’t matter if they have small dicks like yourself! but for my own safety I kept
my mouth shut.

 Ew. Dump this client. This man is insecure and wants the illusion that he’s the only
person who goes to you. He tried (and failed terribly) to bring you closer by slut / sex
shaming you? As if that makes you want to hang out with him more. Vagina saviour
complex? Very weird man.

 Reminds me in high school when I got called a whore and loose vagina cause I had been
with a lot of guys. Then a guy I like literally didn’t want to continue seeing me because
my “vagina was damaged”.

 Good job dumping him. Ugh on this guy for All the reasons! Fucking rude I’m sure he
offered you a fraction of what you actually make too

 Some men actually believe this crap (that your vagina will stretch if you fuck a BUNCH of
different men, but apparently fucking the SAME man every time he fucking feels like it is
fine, somehow), and I wish I could say I can’t believe a DOCTOR would believe that.
Dumb fucker.

I haven’t seen him in months, but he was literally the BEST client I’ve ever had. He would send
me money for no reason, expensive gifts, very respectful and clean. At one point about 80% of
my income was from him. Then he all the sudden got cold and distant. I didn’t think much of it
because they almost always come back. Out of curiosity, I went on his Instagram and he
proposed this month to another escort from my city. The reason why I know she’s an escort is
because she was face out and I remember seeing her ad and twitter a lot. I’m not really sure
what to make of it… I just feel odd because he was literally a dream client for me. Obviously the
financial motive was there and without his money I wouldn’t even look at him twice. Hopefully
another one or 2 like him come around because I am perplexed

Comments

 He must really love escorts if he was so generous with them and even married one.
Sounds awesome and like a nice guy. Great for him and the escort, hope they have good
marriage. Now that that door closed, another one (or two, or several) will open for you!
Who knows, maybe he might refer other men in his circle to you in the future. Word of
mouth is the best way to advertise.

o I personally never had a word of mouth recommendation. I mean, hopefully he
does anyways cause he’s stupid rich. I’m just still processing everything. But
anyways, I need another whale so guess who’s going to invest more into
advertising?!

 I heard that among the stupid rich, it’s common for men to be more open
about seeing sex workers and even recommend women to each other
like they might share about their favorite doctors, personal trainers,
chefs, massage therapists.

 They do. And they will. I can’t remember advertising any more,
must be years ago. When they have your number they’ll call

o Do you use a VOIP/burner app, or did you just set up a
whole new cell number that you pay for separately apart
from your personal phone? I am thinking of switching to a
real cell number because I’ve been having issues with
burner apps and feel like it might be worth the cost. I hope
I get into circles where men share providers. People trust
word-of-mouth more and it’s what really rich exclusive
people prefer anyway.

 I have an assistant. She manages all my
appointments for most of my businesses. I have my
personal phone and I guess several business
phones. As I said it was a long time and an even
longer way.

 Honestly word of mouth is not the best way to advertise and tends to get very messy.
Especially if you’re playing the more GFE route (and want engagement) you don’t want
men discussing you in a circle of all your details. You’ll never be able to get close to
those clients as they feel like “you’re for everybody”

 Did you like him like that? Would you have gotten engaged him if he asked? It always
sucks losing out on money but somebody else will come right along. Sounds like he was
seeing the other girl the whole time, or maybe he’s just a guy who falls in love super
quick. This is all a learning process you will know the guys that you can connect with like
that in the future and really know how to get on their payroll if that’s what you desire.

 It sounds like she knew he was a sap and was looking to get engaged and she fed right
into it. Congratulations to her!

 Sucks about losing the possible income, but I’d rather be an escort than some man’s
wife. No amount of money would be worth losing my freedom and dealing with a man’s
shit 24/7.