Regardless on whether you’ve made your client fuck or not, if they’re booking has well over past and exceeded the time limit that they have paid you for, then you have every right to refuse consent and leave when you feel it’s time for you to.

Please follow your intuition. Don’t allow them to convince you in staying for longer when you know you’re needing to be somewhere else later on that day. Especially if they aren’t willing to pay the extra fee that you are so worthy of receiving.

Know your value and don’t ever think you should negotiate that. And by value this 1000% includes your time!

Have repeated this mistake multiple amounts of occasions when first starting off in the industry, and although it took me multiple times making this bad decision, it was only until I was at my lowest form where it was continuously happening no matter how much I tried when really my intuition saw the red flags originally I just chose not to follow it…

Whatever they’re trying to negotiate with your price whether it be drugs, alcohol, material possessions, etc. – if you don’t think it’s worth it – don’t choose to position yourself in something you have a feeling could end up with a bad time! Don’t make the same mistakes I did, because I can guarantee you I most definitely wish I had someone tell me this when first starting off 🖤

Comments

• I’m incall only nowadays but I will say this: clients going over their paid-for time virtually never happened with me during an outcall date. Why? Because I find it so much easier to pick myself up and leave than to get someone OUT THE DOOR without a fuss when they’re dragging their feet. Ditto for issues with someone who’s under the influence: far easier to dart out the door than get a non-sober person out of it.

• Personally being a trans sex worker though this would happen during experiences where things would start off good then detours like having to sneak out because I wasn’t aware of roommates etc. and due to discretion the fear of them switching had happened before. Years later though and these days I rarely choose to do an outcall unless it seems worth it, good thing we can learn from experience / rely on other fellow sex worker’s advice throughout platforms like reddit and Twitter

• If you have an issue going over time that’s where good old technology comes in…before you walk in set the timer when it goes off ask them are they adding more time…simple yes or no if they say yes it’s another quick visit off tops and make sure to stop and collect, then don’t wait till the end they’ll act like they “only” have such and such…

• This is really a case by case basis thing. I always have a clock in east view. Had a big one on the wall of my incall or the glowing numbers of the clock on the nightstand at the hotel. I was never a clock watcher, but would start to casually wrap things up when it got close. I was more lenient with a regular or semi-regular client because the better experience may lead to another visit. I prayed around for another 30 minutes with a regular because I know he has options and wanted to keep being the one he chose.

I am a client with a fair amount of experience meeting with sex workers(SW). I always laughed off the idea of catching feelings. I’ve been really good at compartmentalizing and keeping things in perspective. But now, it’s happened to me. I caught feelings. I’ve met with her several times over the last few months. The sex is nice, the banter is really fun (we have our own complicated in-jokes) and better than all of that is the kissing and cuddling. She routinely gives me extra time and always seems happy to see me. Reading over her reviews from other clients, it seems I’m getting treatment others aren’t (people complain about the lack of GFE and the feeling of things being mechanical) even though I’m not paying anything extra. Do SWs play favorites like that? What do I, as a client, do about this? Do I let things cool off before continuing to see her? Do I even consider broaching something else? Am I probably overthinking things and confusing good customer service with something else? Any insights and suggestions, even toughly worded, are appreciated.

Comments

• I just came back home from seeing one of my favorite clients. I sincerely enjoy his company, sex is awesome, we talk and laugh and have fun with each other. We’re the same age and he’s super cute. Time just flies with him. But at the end of the day that’s what he is to me, one of my clients. He’s one of the people who makes my work enjoyable. But it’s still work. You can always ask, but prepare to be disappointed.
  • Thank you for this perspective. It’s sobering. From your vantage point, would it be “spoiling” or annoying if your client in this situation suddenly expressed feelings for you? In my case, I’m not even sure what it is I want, I’m just trying to process this all.

• I’ve had this happen with another one of my favorite clients whom I’ve been seeing for over a year and probably 30 times now and I just awkwardly laughed it away. We’ve kept on seeing each other and it’s still great, he only asked once and agreed to my boundaries. If he kept on asking, I’d most likely feel pressured and would cut him off. For me personally there’s no way I would pursue any other than professional relationship with any of my clients, no matter how great they are and I’m sure it’s the same for most providers.

• She does not have feelings for you. She gives you extra time and attention because you are probably a frequent client. I do the same to my most frequent clients. Even if a client pays the same as the others per session, if a client pays for more sessions, they are still paying the provider more money, so therefore they become a favorite. She offers GFE, so she is probably very good at making it feel real. She likes you, but not sexually/romantically in any way. If you reveal you have feelings for her, she might cut you off. Personally, I pull away from clients who catch feelings because it pushes my boundaries and can lead to scary situations. When a client catches feelings, it’s usually a situation with one of two outcomes: the sex worker tells the client they do not have feelings for them and they take it positively (meaning they don’t try to push, threaten, or coerce us into dating them anyway) or, b. they get jealous, obsessive, and possibly violent. The last client that caught feelings for me hacked my phone and put spyware on it so he could see all my messages with everyone I texted, and he knew where I was at all times (but that’s a long crazy story so I won’t get into it) While you’re not one of these bad guys and definitely mean no harm, many sex workers will just automatically block you if you admit you have feelings and won’t run the chance of it becoming a bad situation, because we are all hyper vigilant from our SW pasts. We really have no way of knowing who is safe and who isn’t, because sometimes the worst predators can be the friendliest clients. And we can’t really afford to play a guessing game, because if we go missing we’re the last type of woman the police will prioritize looking for, and we can’t go to the police anyways if we’re in trouble because our existence is illegal, so most sex workers won’t roll the dice and will just not go any further with a client who has feelings. Some sex workers might also choose option c, which is to pretend to reciprocate feelings for the client in order to extort extra money from them. I personally don’t do this for many reasons (starting with the fact that it’s cruel) and leads to a bad situation either way, because it’s not sustainable forever, worst case scenario it ends in assault because the client was angry. Imagine your worst case scenario happened: you told her, and she doesn’t feel the same. Ask yourself, would you still have a good experience if you kept seeing her, or would the rejection get in the way? And if you kept seeing her and said nothing at all, would you be content just getting her service and not telling her your real feelings? If you can continue getting her service in those situations and still enjoy her company, then continue seeing her. If not, I would probably try to find a new provider. At the end of the day, sex workers are here to do their job: provide services to the client. We are not looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Best of luck, hope this response helps 👋

• Please accept her kindness and just enjoy it during the booking. She will most likely think you are just a very good client so will be treating you with the respect you deserve as a decent human being. As a worker myself it gets so hard when clients blur the lines and start to catch feels and fall in love. I’m nice and caring but once i feel that clinginess i have to be cold and cut them off. Please and to any clients reading this, if it’s really good it’s because we are amazing at our jobs and you are probably behaving like a decent person. we are grateful when you’re not a fuckwit pest and so you’ll get the best out of us during the time spent together.

• If you are a young man, full of testosterone, and you don’t walk out of there thinking you’re in love, she’s not doing her job. Just be careful because the fantasy is much better than the reality. Enjoy it. I wish I could trick myself into feeling those feelings again with an escort.

• Ok…we have a friend that is a SW and did marry a client. This is rare but here is some perspective, let’s say you are a doctor/lawyer/$500 per your professional and one of your clients is awesome, in fact you could see yourself in a relationship; would it be appropriate to risk your reputation and engage in a relationship with this client? Would you be willing to have a personal relationship and a professional relationship with this client? Most importantly, how would you react if this client now expects special treatment because of your personal relationship? Life is chaos, and sometimes the most unlikely things do happen. Whatever decision you make, do so with compassion, empathy and mutual respect. Remember when this happens in most cases it’s some form of “BRO! I dickmatized her bro!! She will be paying me!!” Or “I’ll be her saviour” don’t be that twat..:..

• Why mess up a good thing? I have a few awesome clients that are married so I still have a great time with them and try not to care too much. These guys are the most generous ones though, maybe it is all about the money but maybe I am just turned on by generous men.

• I’m literally fairly certain y’all catching feelings have low social awareness or something— as a client I always read crazy reviews how they are so good at GFE or whatever and when I see them I can tell that they are just faking they are just good at it

• You don’t do anything. She’s not a robot, you don’t need to worry about whether other clients are getting less. Most guys aren’t going to see a girl more than once, and very few more than 2-3x. You’re spending way more on her than the other guys. Put yourself in her shoes. She probably is advertising on one or more sites for in-person meetings, maintaining an onlyfans, maybe booking skype appointments or working on some cam site as well, maintaining IG + twitter accounts where she’s getting hundreds or thousands of notifications per day, and more. It’s a grind to get bookings and weed out the time-wasters. And here you are, some guy where it takes 1 minute of work over text or email to set up an appointment. Evenif she really likes you, she has to be really damn sure about it before she’s going to risk jeopardizing that kind of regular income. I’d still recommend backing off a bit. She’s going to see you as “the reliable source of $X every month” or whatever, you’re just an ATM to her. Maybe she enjoys your company during work hours, but she doesn’t want a relationship with you. I had a SW I was seeing every few weeks, and one time she suggested I should take her out to a concert after a meeting. I did, and we had a few more meetings after that, but things went downhill pretty quickly. Wouldn’t recommend. 6 months later I had my final meeting with her, she said some nasty things, and I lost all interest in her and never contacted her again. But I’ve moved on to seeing some other folks still somewhat regularly but much less often. Not looking to see any particular provider more than once every 3 months anymore. Any more often than that, and they start setting certain financial expectations I think.

• Sometimes when a client is bare minimum nice to me it makes me feel comfortable so I will relax and more likely have a good time and definitely act like I’m having a good time. Sometimes when I’m having a shit day I’ll be soooooo lovely bc I don’t have the energy to clap back to your rudeness. Sometimes if you piss me off I’ll give attitude or straight up end the booking. At the end of the day I have never even remotely felt anything towards a client other than how can I best provide a service to suit their needs so that they will book me again. I would also never mix business with personal so it would be a polite decline from me if a client asked me out. I also like to remind clients that they don’t actually know the real me, they know the fantasy I provide. Even the banter, I might genuinely tell clients things about my personal life, but never enough that they know my world views or politics or philosophy on life. What I’m getting at is, and I know I’m not alone in my experiences, it’s pretty unlikely that a worker would consider dating a client for free. The only loophole I’ve ever heard of was when a friend I work with had a guy watch their OF and then they met irl in an organic way and ended up hitting it off, and they acknowledged the power imbalance of him already seeing them naked, but he was mature and respected what my friend said, took that on board and told them that he wouldn’t look at their OF now they have a different relationship etc. and ended up being rly cute vibes between them both.

• I’m a client that went through this, and I advise you not to think about her as more than a worker. She might like you AS A CLIENT, she may prefer you to other clients, but she is on the clock. She is never off the clock. She’s on the clock when she’s in the room with you. She’s on the clock when she’s texting you. I mean, think about it. Do you really know her? Can you? Can you be yourself when you’re with your boss, even when you’re just grabbing drinks after work? Maybe find another provider for a while and see how you feel about her after.

Edit: for context, the person I saw quit the profession and we stayed friends. The person I thought I knew was still there, but…. different.

My boyfriend has been sharing my laptop. I was going onto the laptop to fix his resume and I found his email open with messages to various amateur porn stars and sex workers asking for rates, times and when their availability was. When I confronted him about it he told me that he was tight on cash, and he was a facilitator to help men hook up with sex workers and was being the in between person for this. He stated he would communicate with them first in order to build their trust before having interactions with the men that wanted to have sex with them and that is why he was talking for himself. He didn’t want to tell me because of how it looked and how he may have disappointed me and that was his assumption based off of the emails and messages that I saw on his social media contacting these women it doesn’t seem like he was being the middleman, and it was more like he was asking for information for himself that my question is for women that have worked in this industry. How do men that approach you for other people work and how much of these conversations are held in person versus using emails, social media, or any other type of digital communication that I am very naïve to this area and I believe because of my own naivety he is using it as a way of possibly making excuses. I would really appreciate if I could get advice on women that have experience with guys reaching out to them to set up meetings for them and how that process has worked finding out this information has really ruined our relationship and I don’t know what to believe and I don’t know who else to contact for this, I don’t mean any offense if I come off ignorant and I’m sorry.

Comments

• As a sex worker… Please don’t tell me you actually believe his reasoning 😭 In my 12 years I have never had a another man reach out to me trying to book me for a different client. All my clients have booked me directly, themselves. For safety reasons I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of someone trying to book me for someone else. I need to screen a client with their real world info before booking.
• he’s lying girl. trust your gut and dump him. there is no “middle man” for contacting a sex worker lol

• These men write the jokes themselves 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣 I’m sorry but he’s lying!! This sounds exactly like my ex!! On my birthday I saw a bunch of messages pop up on his computer from different girls, including messages from myself and he lied saying that it was his friend’s computer that he was borrowing😂🤣😂 So your friend is getting messages me from now??? I literally gave him that laptop when I bought a new one 😂 Like I wouldn’t know my own laptop from college 🙄 After 2.5 years of dating, and on my 22nd birthday, we broke up and that was the last time he saw me. NO REGRETS 😂🤣🤗 I was young and stupid and he was 11 years older than me. Anyway fast forward to less than a year later his new girlfriend was messaging me on Facebook saying she found him on escort sites talking to them about their rates and whatnot. She confronted him and he said “his friend was using his phone to contact escorts” 🤔🤔🤔 She said he eventually broke down and told her the truth that he had been seeing escorts. So, I’m sorry but he’s lying to you!!! Do not believe that shit!! I’ve been in the sex industry for 6 years now and single for 3.5 years and I’ve learned a lot since then about relationships and men. A lot of men you’d never think see escorts and strippers, do see them. It’s just the facts of life 🥲🥲 I’m sorry you’re finding out this way 🥲

I’d like to preface this by saying even though I was disappointed with the person I was with I understand this is just a job to her and the quicker she can get it done the better but the way I felt rushed and the way she was I felt she mustn’t get many returning clients. (Might have just been me though). Contacted someone I found on a popular website in Australia and made a 1-hour appointment. Texts were very standard, the hotel address/I let her know when I’ve arrived. What I was disappointed with was I had made a 1-hour appointment so I wanted to take my time and I guess I was taking too long for her (after about 10-15 minutes) because she kept telling me it was time to finish and was actually getting slightly annoyed I was taking too long. I ask her during this if I can finish twice and she ignores me/doesn’t understand me. I finish and she cleans me off then turns me around and gives me a massage, which made me think we would go again. After 5 minutes she turns me over and looks at me in a way to tell me we are down and she says that I only get to finish once. I tell her I paid for an hour though and it’s only been 20ish minutes (this is my fault as I should have confirmed with her beforehand if I could finish more than once) and she asks if I want a longer massage to fill in the time. I tell her yes because I was a bit annoyed and wanted the 1 hour. She turns me over and I can hear her texting on her phone so I just say thank you and I leave. During all this as well is that she didn’t let me touch her at all. She would swat my hands away. The reason I’ve posted is I want to know if this is expected and was it a normal transaction? I feel like maybe I handled this poorly and I should have asked more questions before we started.

The other reason I posted is I wanted to vent. Lol.

TLDR: Paid for 1 hour but was rushed into finishing in 20 minutes. No touching allowed as well. Not sure if this is a normal transaction or if I handled it poorly, or if she did.

• personally would not treat a client that way, but everyone is different. Make it clear what you want and discuss with them. I hate the idea of a client being rushed, we always talk, discuss what they want, and do touching/foreplay/ oral before jumping into sex.

• This would rank as among my worst times if I had had your experience, and I’ve seen many providers. You’re right to feel upset. If the region you’re in in Australia doesn’t criminalize prostitution, I’d suggest you discuss the rules up front next time before booking.

• I’m an Australian provider, and If a client books me for an hour we usually talk about what’s expected in that time. If someone is booking an hour I assume they want a full experience rather than just a quick orgasm so I’ll ask them what they are seeking. Then I’ll take my time with lots of touching and oral and then if he cums early we will spend some time massaging or cuddling for a while and I’ll try to get him aroused again. I will ask if he wants to go for round 2 and if not we might just hang out and talk or cuddle and touch. However, every provider is different and that’s why it’s a good idea to have that conversation about what you want before you make the booking. Don’t be afraid to ask your provider for what you want and look for someone who will provide that.

• Just like restaurant experiences, providers vary wildly. As someone else in the thread said, maybe this provider was having a bad day, or maybe they’re just not a good provider at all. Since I’ve become a client in this business a year ago, I’ve had a variety of experiences. In fact, my first two is kind of illustrative: I got a “unicorn” my first time. I was nervous as hell and had no idea what was going to happen: would she be a cop in disguise, or ugly, or rude, or would I somehow make a mistake that ruined it? Just by dumb luck, I got a beautiful girl who was patient, kind, and very good at what she does. The second time I tried a different provider who was the opposite in every way (similar to your experience). If I’d had that second experience first, I’d never have indulged again. Probably would’ve been better off (and saved more money) but of course I just became a regular of the first provider. If you do want to try the industry again, follow other suggestions in this thread and see if it turns out better for you. Good luck and be safe.

• I’ve had providers do the same thing. You just don’t return. The best providers give you the full hour. As far as how many times one can finish, it will vary.

• There are many other providers that offer “multiple rounds” and good conversation. And there are providers that prefer to take the mechanical route. Take it as a lesson learned, do more research, read reviews and never assume a provider will offer what you want just because you booked 1 hour.

• At first I thought she forgot how long you booked but then I got all the signs that it was a scam. Essentially when they sense a pushover client, they make it so awkward that you leave. This really annoys me. But it won’t last long before they’ve gone through everyone in that area and have no business. Thankfully there’s loads more girls out there and you’ll find a good one.

• That’s kind of hostile. It’s one thing if she communicates with you that she prefers you to not touch her a certain way and offers instead something else you can do that she is comfortable with, but that’s pretty cold. I am sorry about your experience. Find a different provider who has basic manners and minimally passing customer service skills.

• As an Australian worker I can suggest that depending on location there was confusion over a standard booking? Where I’m located bookings are organised based on if they want standard service which is exactly what you described (the cheapest option which is usually only 4 acts on you) the fact that she was cautious of your hands suggests that she comes from brothels where those sorts of things are extras and is probably new to private work. Either way unless you are in qld you are able to fully discuss what style of booking you are after and the lack of that discussion is a red flag or shows inexperience imo.

• That is not a normal hour with me. And once they pay they are allowed to touch me all they want but no anal and no pain. And if we are ever done before the hour, it’s usually the clients who say they need to get going. Lol I don’t take it personally. I’m not really into the fake gfe shit but if they think they have 2 in them, I give it a go and usually stay over the hour. Usually they get an hour and a half.

• Was it an agency girl? Was she or the agency reviewed on line? What did you pay? Was it an obvious bargain or at least below the going rate? Some girls take advantage of newbies just as some hobbyists take advantage of new escorts. If I spent more than $100 for that I would think it a waste of my money and that would be my last appointment for a while. I sputtered getting started in this and had a few mediocre to awful experiences when I got started. Each felt like a waste of money. Then, I started using the Internet and got smart. Find agencies and Indies with good on-line reputations and stop bargain hunting.

• It’s not standard at all. My first time experience was totally different, provider specifically told me that i could touch her (i wasn’t touching her till then). Gave me a good relaxing massage and everything else i could ask for, filled the entire hour. You were scammed. If touching is not okay, she should have explicitly mention it.

• For whatever reason; maybe they had a bad day, maybe they were feeling sick, maybe they were just not good people – this provider has, effectively, scammed you. Yes, you should have bothdetermined better up front the rules of your proverbial little engagement, but what she did smells of her taking advantage of your inexperience; She asserted herself over you in order to rush you out the door because she sensed that you would allow it; it’s the texting that clinches it for me. At the very least this provider should have conducted herself as an employee – since you were paying her for her time. What on earth could have been so important that she was texting on – at that moment – her employer’s time? if you ask me she was using her phone to drive home her disinterest and hurry and that is just not okay. In your position I would have left as well – but not before getting at least half my money back. You should get what you pay for. ‘We’ don’t determine when you’re ‘done’ or ready to leave until your time is actually up – you do. If she were feeling sick, if she were uncomfortable, if she were just not feeling it she should have communicated this with you, perhaps suggested alternatives to what you were doing at the time, or a raincheck, not half-ass rub your back a while until you called it quits out of boredom.

• A more lucrative client that booked bigger a time frame and it overlapped with the OP, and she sought for the opportunity to get rid of him, while also being paid for the full amount of 1-hour vs what she may have offered if it were a QV. OP was scammed.

• God if escorts are setting the bar that low maybe I should move to escorting lol. Yeah that’s an abnormally bad booking. I’m not sure what you paid but that sounds like what brothels call a “standard service”. Most escorts offer GFE as do most brothels for a small upcharge. Some girl’s get a bit funny about 2 rounds because a lot of guys can’t manage it in 1 hour.

• Everyone’s rules are different so definitely go through what you’d like within the booking before going so that there’s no nasty surprises. Usually if a guy hasn’t come within 15 mins I’ve found they are edging or they’ve had a smoke prior. Maybe she just doesn’t have the energy to keep going because she may have thought it was going to be a full hour of trying with a semi/hard. Had you washed your hands after you first came? Were you going to touch her private’s directly as that may be a valid reason for her to avoid. Not everyone likes a client touching them there AFTER they’ve came if their hands have been touching the condom/wiping up the cum. Definitely poor on her half for rushing he booking and going on her phone instead of focusing on you in that time.

• Sadly, this is standard friend. The time booking model that’s advertised is actually a complete an utter misrepresentation because most providers, 90% or more, don’t adhere to it. If you’re a guy who unfortunately gets to the line a bit too early then chances are she’ll be out the door before you can sneeze. You have read and then you must have a conversation because many of the reviews just aren’t reliable.

I saw a post the other day where someone was frustrated at a client pushing and pushing. There was a hot tub involved. Anyway.

I want everyone here to remember that every explanation we give, every ‘polite’ excuse… they see it as an obstacle to overcome. Do not give them ammunition. I remember a client who just would not stop arguing with me over whether we got to do an activity or not. I would offer my reasons and he just argued and came up with counter-reasons. I finally told him to gtfo at which point he tried to argue me out of that. Every new little idea or argument he offered, I just clamped my mouth shut and made eye contact. I wanted SO BAD to make him see my perspective but ultimately, someone who is going to argue like that is never coming around.

It’s not always, or even often, malicious. I have done it myself to friends before I realized how crappy it is. Its just being used to getting what you want and trying to overcome obstacles. You say 250 and he counter offers? ‘No, thank you.’ He thinks dinner or hot tub time is part of compensation? ‘No thank you.’ No explanations, no haggling… you can’t argue with a brick wall and a wall with a smile isn’t rude.

It’s not easy. We’re programmed to be nice, and sometimes there are underlying relationships, but you do not have to explain your boundaries. They just are.

Okay, a little rant, and PLEASE tell me to STFU if this is outta line. I’ve been doing FSSW since I was…very young. It’s been 10 years. Last summer I made a KILLING and had multiple texts a day from people viewing my Tryst profile and several clients a week. Now I’m lucky if I get one or two texts a week. Uh? I’m noticing that a lot of girls my age or in college are trying sugaring. Like, way more than I’ve ever noticed. Many of my friends are beginning to hop on Seeking. For some, I encourage and support them. But for these girls who already make a living at their day job – and just want extra travel money or whatever – is it unethical for them to potentially be creating competition? I have bills to pay and cannot work a conventional job for health reasons. SW is what I’ve always been able to count on. Am I bitter for nothing? Is it all in my head? Are things five times slower for EVERYONE? And a cry for help…If anyone else has a Tryst – how do you get more traffic?? Anyway… thanks for reading just needed someone to hear me out

EDIT: overwhelmed by your insightful and thoughtful replies. Thank you for your opinions and knowledge 🙏

Comments

• When economy turns to shit, less men have less disposable income, which means less clients. Provider wise and going by the site I use regularly, it has gone up from 200 weekly to 301, but the number of providers in the capital of the country I reside in has never been more than 160.
• I also feel EVERYTHING you’re saying! It’s happening to a lot of us. But there were some really great comments on here in response to your post.
• Please don’t gate keep work, in any form. I have relied on SW as my sole sources of income, starting when I was young too, but I always had the goal to keep it as a side hustle while I made bills and living expenses from vanilla work. I reached that goal 7 years ago. I like the stability and legitimacy of my vanilla job, but I love the rushes of hustling in the club, of meeting new incalls, and loved hearing the tokens when I cammed. If sex work is work, and if it’s not unethical, then it’s not unethical to do it as sole income, part-time, or even just for touristing. The competition might be frustrating, but your situation isn’t their problem.
• I’m a client, not with escorts per se, but with fetish providers, if it makes any difference. Yes, during bad economic times, people are more likely to try to jump into things like this to make a quick buck. For the types of providers, I see, I’ve seen a lot more listings from new people who just don’t know what they’re doing, but I just ignore those listings until they establish a presence in the scene and it’s well know they’re legit. Last summer I made a KILLING and had multiple texts a day from people viewing my Tryst profile and several clients a week. Now I’m lucky if I get one or two texts a week. Uh? Last year we had kept 0% interest rates from the Fed (well, technically more like 0.08%), with the trillions of dollars of COVID relief we had printed out that mostly went to the top 20%. That resulted in an economy with many more high-paying jobs, including jobs that shouldn’t exist and at companies that shouldn’t exist, stock/crypto/housing bubbles, super cheap mortgage/car loan rates, etc. Now the Fed is sucking the money out, layoffs are starting, home owners are sitting on properties they can’t sell without taking a massive loss, the free money train is over. The top will still always have money, but the customer base will be much, much smaller. But for these girls who already make a living at their day job – and just want extra travel money or whatever – is it unethical for them to potentially be creating competition? No more unethical than you wanting to limit the competition by not letting them work.
• No matter what business you are in you will always of competition. That’s just the reality of all business. Those that adapt to change and slow Times survive. Like any business it’s all about marketing yourself.
• This industry separates the wheat from the chaff fairly quickly, the vast majority of people who try sex work don’t end up staying in it.
• This is complicated, but I don’t believe so. This is an industry where there’s really something for everyone and clients like variety for a multitude of reasons. Secondly, how others run their business doesn’t affect me as I don’t really think of anyone else as competition. I truly want everyone to win and as long as they aren’t harming themselves engaging with clients, that’s not really my worry or concern. My concern is making sure I provide the best service as safe and safe as possible for my clients. And I’m low volume, so I know those who reach out to me have other options when I turn them down for various reasons, such as screening, scheduling, deposit, etc. Your concern is valid! I am not going to put you down for it!
• It’s changing. It used to be frowned upon. We were considered disgusting and looked down on. Now sex work is glamorized through social media. I prefer when there was a stigma. I don’t care what strangers that aren’t paying me think about me. I care about how much money I can make. It is over saturated now.
• I feel like the amount of women working has gone up ever since some people started to show off the life style on tiktok and IG. It has made it seem more acceptable the younger women and they don’t ever show the bad side of it on tik tok. I also feel like a lot of the fake videos showing off the lifestyle, is to try and traffic young women who don’t know the difference between the fake posts.

THINK THIS THROUGH

Once you post explicit photos online it’s likely they’ll be on the internet f o r e v e r. There are photos I posted 10 years ago still being distributed to this day. People you don’t want to see may find out and come across your content. If you’re not okay with the idea of that then maybe SW isn’t for you. But there are precautions you can take such as not showing your face or hiding any identifiable marks such as tattoos, scars or piercings but even then there is no guarantee someone won’t recognize you. Never ever use your real name. Pick a stage name and use the same username across all platforms.

SEX WORK ISN’T EASY MONEY

Sex work is work. You have to treat this like a 9 to 5 job. My days are spent promoting, coming up with content ideas, making those ideas come to life on my own, editing photos and videos, engaging with my customers, and being active on several platforms. If you don’t set some kind of schedule for yourself, things can fall behind or you might become stressed out. One way to make things easier on yourself is to buy a planner & keep track of what days you want to create content. You can also use it to down any ideas or goals you have set for yourself. Staying on track is a bit easier when you see it written down. Always keep in mind that if you didn’t have a platform/large audience prior to debuting in the world of sex work, gaining a following or earning a sustainable income might be a slow process. Don’t be discouraged when you see other SWs posting large tip amounts or bragging about their percentage in their first month of using onlyfans. I guarantee you’ll get to where you want to be but you need to have patience. All it takes is one viral post to blow up overnight but staying active and maintaining consistency is key. Taxes and sex work: ok so for most websites you’ll fill out a form for the tax authorities and when it’s time to do taxes you will owe. You are considered self-employed. To be safe put away 20% or more of your annual earnings. If you go on google and search self-employment tax calculator that can give you a rough idea of what you’ll be paying.

WEBSITES

I’ve had the most success with Onlyfans. However onlyfans has been switching up its policies so make sure you have a backup plan in place. I also use Manyvids.com which has been fruitful as well. Other websites to check out: Iwantclips, modelhub, myfreecams, streamate, avnstars, sextpanther, friskvip, clips4sale, apclips, modelcentro, fancentro, mygirlfund, admireme, just4fans.

CAMMING: I don’t have a lot of experience with camming. But what I can tell you is to set a schedule, commit to it & don’t be sporadic with your lives. Talk to your audience and play games. Make it fun for them! Just stay engaged & they’ll be happy. Check out Chaturbate, MV Live, MFC. I used a Logitech C920.

LET’S TALK ABOUT CONTENT

My biggest piece of advice is to pick a niche and stick to it. For example, I am overweight so I use being fat to my advantage. I market myself as a bbw and I cater to a crowd that loves bellies and rolls. Even if you don’t fit into the standard cookie cutter image adult film has had for decades, you can still thrive and make money. There is a market for any gender and body type. So whether you fat, thin, transgender, poc, you will find an audience. I know I would be a lot more successful if I lost weight but I’m making a good amount every month so it’s possible to succeed if you look a little different! With that said, don’t compare yourself to other models. You are YOU and I promise you’re perfect the way you are. Ok so, what I tend to do is take a bunch of photos and video in one day with outfit switches that way I can set up a queue for a couple day’s and use those days for me time or to focus on promotion. It’s important to have a day or two off or you’ll get burnt out. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. You can do so and not feel guilty about it by queuing content on whatever platform you use and scheduling tweets. Make special content to send out to your most dedicated subs and tippers. You don’t need to do this all the time but I try to get them something exclusive at least once a month. The possibilities are endless when it comes to what kind of content you can make. It doesn’t have to be explicit. Do your research and surely you’ll find something you’ll be comfortable doing if posting explicit content isn’t your thing.

INVEST IN NICE EQUIPMENT

Quality over quantity when it comes to content. You’ll be a lot better off posting less content with good lighting that look clean and crisp than you’d be posting a ton of grainy photos with Snapchat filters. Daylight will become your best friend. Everything I shoot during the day doesn’t even need extra lighting. But if you don’t have good lighting I suggest buying a ring light. I use both my iPhone camera and a canon m50 to shoot! It’s easier to get things done with my phone camera but I do use my m50 on a regular basis. If your phone camera isn’t up to par, you can always buy a second phone used on eBay to solely use for photos. If you have the money, I recommend buying the m50 because it has a flippable screen to see yourself, you can use your phone as a Bluetooth remote, the quality is immaculate and it has a great auto focus feature!

ADVERTISEMENT

You’re going to need to spend a lot of time promoting yourself. On twitter, find sex worker threads to post an advertisement in. Include your links, a short spiel about what you offer and a photo to go with it. You can also start your own thread. Post previews on your timeline. If you’re going to post uncensored content, keep it short and sweet making the viewer want more. Offering free trials (I do 1-3 days) can be a great way to get new subs! It’s a smart business move because sometimes potential customers might want to see what they’ll be paying for first. Not everyone will stick around but some do! Engage in sex worker gain trains and make sure to follow back other sex workers. Befriend other SWs for better exposure! Participate in Rt for Rt threads or start your own.  Another great way to be seen on Twitter is to host a giveaway. You can either give away something like a monthly free trial to subs or make it directed towards other SWs. In order to win, have people RT & follow you to gain more followers. Other platforms I post on are Reddit, tiktok, Instagram, skip the games, whisper and occasionally Facebook groups. Try doing share for share with other SWs! I prefer doing them with models who have a similar look or body type because if I do s4s with someone who isn’t a bbw their subs are less likely to sub to me.

PAYMENT

Never give someone your banking information. If they ask for that, it’s a scam. If they tell you send them money first, it’s a scam. Honestly if it sounds too good to be true, it’s probably a scam. I use several different payment platforms. I use cashapp, Venmo, chime, and PayPal. Paypal is not sex worker friendly at all so be careful – withdraw your money ASAP. They’re all iffy towards SWs though so make sure your customer doesn’t put anything incriminating in the notes and don’t let money sit in your account because I have had my funds frozen at random causing me to lose money. I also have two cash apps! I use one to have them send money to and then I transfer it to my other with my banking information attached. I do this because if someone buys something with no intent of actually paying they can dispute the charge, get their money back and now they have your product for free.

TOYS & LINGERIE

During the pandemic, a lot of people have turned to sex work because they desperately need the cash to survive. So if it’s not possible for you to buy props I would suggest getting in contact with twitter accounts that provide free lingerie and toys for an amazon review. These accounts will ask you if you have PayPal and Amazon. All you have to do is add the item to your cart and then screen shot the total amount. They will then send you the money to buy it beforehand on PayPal. Some will pay you after you write a review and I’ve done a few of those before with no issue. I’ve gotten over 40 items for free this way. Create a wishlist on amazon and fill it up with a variety of different toys and lingerie. Subs will buy them for you and if you want offer an incentive for them to do so. Amazon will not give them your address and you can change the recipient name to your stage name. Make sure you have the item in hand before giving them a reward because it’s possible they’ll buy it for you but cancel after receiving whatever you gave them in return.

PRICING & WHAT TO SELL

Okay so I see a lot of price shaming going on lately so let’s talk about that. On Onlyfans you can either charge someone to subscribe or have it set to free. If you choose to go the free route you cannot post anything explicit to your wall it has to be blocked by a paywall but if you charge to sub you can post anything you want to your feed. Whether your OF is free or you have a set fee, you also have the option to send out PAY PER VIEW messages that contain exclusive content. You can sell whatever it is you offer for whatever price you feel is right. Don’t let others shame you or make you feel bad if you choose to sell your onlyfans for $3 or $30. That is solely up to you and if someone feels like what you’re asking for is too much they can find someone else in their price range. When my onlyfans was set at $10 I had a hard time gaining any subs but now I sell mine for $5 and make triple what I did then. It’s all about finding what works for you. If someone is asking for free previews first it’s likely they have no intention of spending any money especially if you’re already posting previews onto a feed. If you’re having trouble pricing the things you’re selling, what I do is scope out the going rate by searching for similar items on Manyvids. You can also ask other SWs, most will be glad to help you out. When asking someone for help approach them with kindness and gratitude. Maybe retweet some of their posts first as well! You can even offer them a small tip in exchange for their insight. Whatever you do, just be polite and if they decline, that’s okay! Simply thank them for their time and move on. Don’t hold any resentment because they aren’t exactly obligated to help you, you know?

HERE’S A LIST OF MISCELLANEOUS THINGS YOU CAN SELL ASIDE FROM PHOTOS AND VIDEOS: 

Panties, Socks, bras, old shoes, sex toys, lingerie. All used. Armpit or pubic hair, toe or finger nail clippings, spit, cum, pee, used tampons, dirty qtips, pussy lollipops, bath water, chewed gum, used condoms.

EDITING & POSING

My go to for photo editing is Meitu. It looks difficult at first but just read their user guide and watch tutorials on YouTube. Best thing about Meitu is it’s free and has a lot of options for both photo & video editing! You can also download picsart, prequel, Videoleap, splice, InShot, snow, Facetune, Lightroom. Some of these require payment to get the most use out of them but it’s worth it. If you aren’t sure I believe most have free trials!

RANDOM BITS OF ADVICE

Never compare yourself to others. Yes, this is easier said than done but try your hardest not to. Accept yourself for who you are and know that there are people who will definitely find you as or even more attractive than the person you might envy. The flaws you see in yourself are likely going to be invisible to your audience. Cut yourself some slack because you are perfect the way you are. Engage with your fans. Always thank them when they tip you. Show your appreciation for their time and effort spent supporting you. If you have a lot of subs it can be difficult to keep track of messages but try to stay on top of replying because you never know when it might be a missed opportunity to make extra cash. Keep sex work separate from your personal life. I occasionally share tidbits of my life but I keep it to a minimum. People enjoying seeing your personality too but be wary of what you say about yourself. If possible don’t disclose your true location. Oh one last thing for today: PLEASE SUPPORT THE POC/TRANS/DISABLED/LGBTQ sex workers when you can! A simple RT can go a long way because in an industry that is biased and based upon unrealistic standards, people who don’t fit the cookie cutter mold can always use the extra support

Is it worth it? After all, you will be exposing yourself to the world at large. But … it holds so much promise – maybe you make your financial dreams come true, or unleash your sexual potential, or cultivate true body positivity and pride in what you do, or thrive in the autonomy and self-determination that comes from having your own business.

Fact: Most cam models quit after the first couple of weeks.

Fact: The down sides of camming have to be worth it for you.

The good news is that you have the ability to increase the positive impacts and mitigate the negative ones. That’s one of the greatest things about this job is the amount of control it gives you over your life. But first you need to be able to handle having that much control. Do you have what it takes? Let’s find out.

Grit

Having courage, gumption, and fortitude. There will be highs and lows with this business, especially at the beginning. You will be plagued with self-doubt, and any looming insecurities will be triggered as you do your first few shows. You will experience failure. You may be plagued by tech issues, viewers who don’t tip, or obsessive thoughts of comparing yourself to others. You will face constant challenges as you work to find your niche and establish a following. You will encounter stigma in its myriad forms, feel worried about your safety and security, and face social challenges with acquaintances both old and new. You will experience the sort of fatigue that comes from being in a constant state of newness and learning, of problem-solving and investigating. You will be excruciatingly vulnerable, all the while trying to redefine your sexual boundaries now that an audience and money have been added to the equation. You will need grit to not only navigate these challenges, but to do so successfully so that you come out on top.

No one has ever called you a pushover

Assertiveness, Self-determination, Self-protection. You need to be able to say no, you need to be able to recognize when you are uncomfortable with something and act accordingly, you need to be able to spot manipulators, hustlers, and other nefarious sorts; and you need ways to know when doing something for the money just isn’t worth it. This isn’t just about what happens between you and fans, either. You need to be able to do this stuff with other people in the industry, too. Other models, promoters, managers, studios, etc. there are many people who will seem like they have your best interests in mind when in reality they are playing the game. Then there is also the fact that you will be doing sex acts in a public forum. The vulnerability! Having good boundaries means you can be vulnerable without risking harm. However, this isn’t just about buffering yourself from negative experiences. Being able to do all of the above means that you will attract and retain fans who respect you and pay you what you’re worth, all the while being able to keep your inner circle free of bad people, bad deals, and bad scenes.

Stability

Consistency of habit, supportive circumstances, self-mastery. There are many facets to this. One has to do with your mind. If you have a tendency toward negative emotions, or are plagued by mental health issues, then being a cam model is going to exacerbate all of those things. Can you still be a cam model if you have mental health issues? Yes. But you will need solid strategies for managing them and the self-awareness to recognize when they are escalating (and they will escalate). A second facet has to do with your habits. Are you generally a productive person who doesn’t procrastinate? Are you consistent and reliable, or can you be when needed? Being a cam model means that you are your own boss, which means that if you have previously relied on fear of consequences to get you through life, you are going to have a hard time making it as a cam model. You have to cam consistently. You have to devote time to developing your career as well as developing your craft. You have to self- promote. You have to do all of this whether you feel like it or not. The third important facet regarding stability has to do with your life circumstances. Are you desperate? While desperation can be a powerful motivator, it can also lead you to do things you really aren’t comfortable with (which is bad for obvious reasons). Even if nothing bad comes of it, your viewers will sense it and the desperation will undermine your success and attract the wrong kinds of fans. Even if your life is in chaos and you normally live wild and free, be prepared to create some stability around your camming work if you want it to be successful.

Personality

Charismatic, open-minded, industrious, free-spirited. All four of these characteristics will serve you well as a cam model: Having charisma and good social skills will help you build connections with others, which is critical to success. Camming is essentially the personalization of porn; connection is everything. Having an open mind means that you will not show disgust when a strange fetish request comes your way. In other words, it means you are able to be a model of sex positivity. Being industrious means you will work hard toward your goals and be proactive about it. As a free-spirited individual, you will have natural inoculation against stigma, slut-shaming, and the many other types of negativities that will come your way. If you find yourself falling short on these characteristics, then the best thing you can do is find ways to leverage your existing strengths to provide the same benefits.

You’re actually ok with it

You have researched and accepted the risks. You do not feel shame about being a cam model.
Many cam models enter into the profession blindly because they want or need to make a lot of money. They do not do the research needed to effectively manage the risks and end up putting themselves in harm’s way by not taking the proper precautions. What is more, they live in fear of being found out and often do not realize until it is too late that each and every one of their cam shows are being pirated and distributed on the internet. On the other hand, models who are actually OK with being a cam model approach the industry with a different mindset. They plan. They do research. They do not feel ashamed of what they do – in fact they even feel proud – because they do not see anything wrong with it. Make sure that you aren’t doing this for the wrong reasons. Making peace with it will make all the difference in the quality of your experience and of your career. After all, if you aren’t really comfortable with the risk, do you really want copies of your shows being on the internet forever?

Go for it!

This might seem like a whole lot of bad news, but it is not. Most of these things are things you can control, influence, or develop. And this is where the biggest secret of cam model success comes into play: individuality. This industry truly is the personalization of porn, and so you should never feel that you have to be or do anything different to make money. The traits above are about protecting you and helping you succeed. If you didn’t see yourself in the descriptions above, then look at it as clarification of your weaknesses. If nothing else, you can use them as a guideline for personal and professional development to help you maximize your chances of success.